When Dating A Christian Hurts (Part One)

Today's world is filled with darkness, pain, anger, and hatred. For this reason, I believe love has become a scarce commodity.

Most people if not all can relate to at least one instance of what could be described as a loving experience. On the contrary, the same is true for folks, who can also relate to negative experiences they've had. At the age of four (04), growing up I could not wrap my fledgling and curious mind around the idea of my paternal Grandparents' exclusiveness. I had so many questions then, and Grandad would always take the time to explain, why he would kiss Grandma a certain way, or even to the extent of sharing the same room.

As the years went by and time flashed passed, the encrypted lessons from my grandad became more colorful and eye-opening to a reality that led me to become more aware of my sexuality.

Occasionally, I have made a few observations on what I know love relationships to be, especially from the one I grew up seeing in my extended family, and the random couple that posts what seems to be happy photos on Social Media.

Today, many romantic relationships do not resemble that of two happy ''Birds" let alone two happy people.

Quick Fix or Fix It?

The sad song of unhappiness in relationships seems to be on everyone's playlist. Subsequently, some people in some churches have mapped out a marital rubric for their youth while others are match-makers. I have a healthy assumption that some people believe that marriage is a quick fix for quelling unhappiness and bad dating experiences regardless of the cause. There is so much brokenness in our churches today, and we should not use bandages to cover unattended wounds.

If we are not careful, one can become more climatized to the unspeakable reality; the need for love at the wrong places, seeking relational reciprocity from the wrong guy or girl, or making an attempt to be healed from what was "heart-break'' owing to the sad realities of relationships.

There seems to be an ongoing pressure geared towards young Christians who are in a relationship, engaged, and those who are just simply enjoying the gift of singleness.

From the pulpit to the pew, random church folks encouraging us to get married without proper counseling and guidance. While getting married is God's recommended way for a Christian man to express his love wholesomely to his potential Christian wife, I do believe that those who encourage our youth to get married, without pragmatic and spiritual guidance, are doing more harm than good to our young and inexperienced youth, and ultimately the church.

I suppose marriage is a beautiful thing to do; however, the old and banal thoughts of just getting married are never enough. Without a proper understanding of what it entails, the pros and the cons are some practical insights that every young person that intends to get married should consider especially if they have not experienced workable marital relationships. For those who intend on advising our excited and curious youth, they should be able to dichotomize opinions as opposed to facts and they should be careful that their thoughts are not highly influenced by their feelings or preferences.

A pure marriage is not only between a man and his wife but should also be centered around the founder and creator of it (God). We are people of biases and our thoughts are influenced by our experiences. However, we also have to take into consideration that a fact is an axiomatic information with the exclusion of emotions; opinion is information mixed with experience while ignorance is opinion lacking information, and arrogance is an opinion that ignores facts.

Always share your experience as an opinion and 'your -fact' but never share your experience as the fact. Many youth today believe that marriage is 'unattractive' and will not endeavor to be engaged in the same. Marriage as was didactically expressed in the Genesis account is a beautiful union to be shared between a man and a woman. However, there are a few youths who are open to learning from all those who have traversed and are traversing the marital route be it direct or indirect. In so doing, we ask you: mentors, parents, guardians, and friends to help us, not only by saying "Get married" but by sharing insights of both good and bad experiences. Then, with the leading of the Christian God, practical lessons as our notes, along with you being our example, as ordained by God; we will be more informed and have convalescent dating experiences that will transition into ravishing marriages.

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